Advanced cancer – what I wish people knew

Angela Daniel has been a cancer support specialist at Maggie's in Manchester since the centre opened in 2016, and has a background in palliative care.

Angela has been involved with running the 'Ongoing with cancer' course, providing support for people with advanced cancer and a loved one.

Here, Angela shares some common misconceptions about advanced cancer, and some things that people often find helpful after an advanced cancer diagnosis.

What is advanced cancer?

Advanced cancer means a cancer that has spread from the original primary site to other parts of the body. You might also hear advanced cancer described as stage 4 cancer, secondary cancer or metastatic cancer.

What misconceptions do people have about advanced cancer?

Misconception 1: that people with advanced cancer will die quickly.

Often, people live for a number of years after an advanced cancer diagnosis. And in some cases, we treat people with advanced cancer as if it's an ongoing health condition that needs long term management.

Misconception 2: that there is no treatment for advanced cancer.

Many people when diagnosed with advanced cancer have a range of treatments at their consultant's disposal. The aim of treatment for advanced cancer will be:

• to manage the cancer for as long as possible
• to stop any further spread of the cancer
• to manage any symptoms of that cancer
• to prolong life
• to prolong quality of life

Misconception 3: that you that you will always feel unwell with advanced cancer.

Often this is not the case. Some people live quite well with advanced cancer and can continue to work, do their hobbies and live quite normal lives.

What are some things that might help someone after an advanced cancer diagnosis?

Continue doing the things you enjoy

You may not be able to do everything as you used to, but you might be able to do them in a different way. For example, if you enjoy cycling, then you could try using an electric bike. Most activities can be adapted to be less taxing.

You could also write a list of other things you like, such as your favourite films or books, to take inspiration from when you need it.

Maintain social contacts

Developing and maintaining social contacts, particularly after an advanced cancer diagnosis, can help you thrive psychologically.

Talk about things and be open with family and friends

It isn't always easy to talk about cancer, and you or your loved ones may not be ready to have difficult conversations at first. When you feel ready, talking openly about what is going on can feel like a weight off your shoulders, and can make your friends and family feel more included too.

Get involved in decisions around your own treatment

For example, Maggie, who co-founded Maggie's after her advanced cancer diagnosis, found that becoming an active partner in her own care lifted her psychologically and physically.

Resource yourself and make practical adjustments

This could mean learning to manage stress and talking about your feelings rather than trying to dampen them. 

Or it could mean trying to eat well, sleep well, or be physically active where possible.

How can Maggie's help?

Cancer support specialists

Just coming in to see one of the cancer support specialists is always invaluable in allowing you to explore some of those difficult emotions and feelings.

Sessions, workshops and courses

We have sessions and workshops you can join to help with managing the impact of the diagnosis, cancer and treatment. These range from managing stress and nutrition to nordic walking and yoga, and are suitable for all levels of ability.

We also run multiple-session courses to help you feel better informed about a diagnosis, such as our pre- and post-treatment courses (Getting Started and Where Now?) and our Ongoing with cancer course.

Networking groups

Attending our networking groups where you can meet others in a similar situation can also help.

Kitchen table at Maggie's

The kitchen table at Maggie's can be really powerful. Just sitting or standing around the kitchen table at Maggie's as well can lead to conversations with people you share experiences with.

Friends and family

Most of what we do is available to friends and family too, and we also have dedicated groups for friends and family. So do invite your loved ones to come along to Maggie's.

What is the 'Ongoing with cancer' course?

'Ongoing with cancer' is for people with an advanced cancer diagnosis and a loved one. It's incredibly valuable, giving you space to express your emotions and get practical support too.

We involve loved ones because they're part of the family system and it's often helpful for them to get support, as well as support their loved one, and meet others in a similar situation to lessen anxiety and that sense of isolation.

The course aims to cover some of the challenges that we know people with advanced cancer encounter.

Talking about cancer

One of the biggest challenges is talking about it. So the group provides a space where people can come and talk about difficult things.

Emotional wellbeing

We explore how to attain and maintain emotional wellbeing in the face of an advanced cancer diagnosis.

Communication

Often people are concerned about how to communicate, not just with their family, their children and their friends, but also with their healthcare professionals.

Advanced care planning

We encourage people to think about their wishes for their care, such as where they would like to be cared for, who they would like to be involved in their care, and what other organisations may be able to support them.

Symptom control

We talk about symptom control and pain management, as well as educating on the different drugs and medications that are used in pain relief, and even doing some myth-busting, especially about some of the morphine-like drugs.

End of life

We look at end of life issues and what what that might be like, acknowledging the fact that the futures can looks very different for each person. For the person with cancer, the future may mean looking at the next few weeks, months and short number of years, whereas for their loved one, the future goes beyond that.

Regaining control

A lot of what we do with people with advanced cancer is thinking about how you can regain some control in what can feel like a very out-of-control situation. That can mean getting involved in your own care, thinking about your treatment, etc.

How can someone join a course?

The best thing to do is to just come into Maggie's, and speak to one of the cancer support specialists. Alternatively, you can find your nearest Maggie's centre and request a callback or email or call us.

We can talk to you about the group and be honest about the fact we will talk about some challenging things. But we find that many people are more than ready to talk about these challenges, and want to be as prepared as possible.

Angela Daniel, cancer support specialist at Maggie's Manchester

Last review: Aug 2024 | Next review: Aug 2027

Get in touch

If you have any questions about advanced cancer or the 'Ongoing with cancer' course, you can:

• Find your nearest centre for support and information 
• Call us on 0300 123 180
• Email us at enquiries@maggies.org
• Our phone lines and centres are open Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm