Carla's tips for supporting someone with cancer

A diagnosis of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (NHL) can be life-altering.

For Carla, it was a chapter of resilience, self-discovery, and unwavering support from Maggie's.

Carla was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (NHL) in 2023 after first diagnosed with a benign meningioma in early 2022. She said: 

"Throughout the year I fell unwell with no answers and then my routine brain scan showed the tumour was growing too fast. Brain surgery took place in May 2023 and that is when the tumour was discovered to be NHL dural base.

"My diagnosis sent me straight into flight or fight mode, so my aunt recommended Maggie's to me as a place for calmness and support with the diagnoses and treatment.

From the moment I walked into Maggie's Wirral, I felt enveloped with support. A shout out to Vicky who provided that one to one support that was needed for me and also for my auntie through her own treatment.

"Both workshops were invaluable to me at that time as I also met fellow cancer fighters who I was able to talk to openly about my diagnoses. I was also gifted with free head scarves and beauty products which gave me a boost I needed at the time.

"I am now in remission and have completed the 100 miles for Maggie's challenge in May 2024 and I am looking at volunteering to ‘pay it forward’ for the support Maggie's not only provided me but continue to provide for people going through cancer.

Carla attended workshops to help her manage the visible side effects of cancer treatment including Look Good Feel Better and Headwrappers. 

Carla's tips on ways to support someone with cancer

1. Kind gestures

If you worry about what to say, you can say it, or show it, with kindness. Provide home cooked meals, help with house chores, collect food shop or walk the dog etc. 

Treatment can make daily tasks more difficult, any help with them would go such a long way.

2. Silence

Just being there in person is enough. To sit in silence watching the birds in nature or a movie can be the added warmth that is needed from a friend during the darkest of days. 

To know you’re there by the person's side can be the invaluable uplift that is needed.

3. Dates

Going out for little dates when you’re having good days. 

Friends to pick up you and take you to the park to feed the ducks or watching the sunset over a hill. It doesn’t have to be a place filled with people, or a big gesture. 

Something small like this shows that you care and you’re there.

4. Listening

It’s not that we want people to say the right words all the time or try to fix everything, it’s more about us needing to talk, to cry and get it off our chest.

Having someone sit and listen over a cup of tea can help elevate all those unwanted feelings and energy. 

Being heard goes such a long way.

5. Research the cancer and treatment plan

I found it incredibly helpful when my friend offered help with this. 

Research to aid or support with treatment, for example, some ginger tea bags to help with sickness, where to buy the best wigs in my local area, what exercises I can do post treatment and more. 

6. Check in

Make regular phone calls / texts to drop in and let them know you’re thinking of them. 

It can be such a lonely place so having that communication daily can be key to ‘keep on going’. 

These are a few ways than using words to show you care and that you’re there for someone going through one of the hardest battles life can throw at them.

All these would go such a long way when supporting someone. 

How Maggie's can help

If you are dealing with a cancer diagnosis and are looking to rebuild your confidence or for other support, Maggie's can help.

Our cancer support specialists are here for whatever stage you're at, whatever it is that you're facing.

We also have a range of activities you could join, such as Look Good Feed Better workshops, support groups, exercises classes and more.

Find your nearest centre and talk to a cancer support specialist to find out more. You don't need an appointment –  just come in.