When you're overwhelmed by the stress of cancer, your emotions can feel knotted up like a big ball of wool and it becomes difficult to concentrate on anything else.
But, at Maggie’s, our Managing Stress course offers practical ways to deal with pressure and you can use many of them straightaway.
Stress management
Learning to manage your stress doesn’t have to be complicated, it doesn’t need special equipment and it doesn’t need to take up loads of your time.
It’s easy to say, ‘I don’t have the time for this,’ but most of us can fit small stress management practices into our everyday lives – while we’re washing up, having a shower or sitting in a waiting room – and they can become a real life changer.
I know lots of folk who, when they're feeling anxious before a scan or finding it difficult going for their chemo, use a bit of slow breathing to give them a focus and it makes them feel more in control.
Here are five steps you can take to tackle your stress today.
1. Understand your stress
It helps to manage your stress if - first of all – you notice it. Then you can learn to understand it, what triggers it and how you react to it.
Next time you’re in a stressful situation, try to take a few seconds to ask yourself, ‘How is this making me feel? Do I notice my heart going? Is my breathing changing? How am I behaving differently? Am I getting irritable? Starting to panic?’
You can also try to notice what makes you feel better. Is it going for a walk? Stroking a pet? Trying to breathe more slowly?
Together this information will help you take charge of your feelings in future.
2. Change your response
When you feel stressed, you probably react in the same way each time without really thinking about it. You might lose your temper, tense up or reach for a glass of wine.
Over the course of a lifetime it’s easy to get into habits that aren’t useful when you’re in a difficult situation.
But, if you can take a moment or create a bit of space when you’re stressed, it gives you a chance to pause and think about how you want to respond to a situation, rather than just reacting in your normal way.
When you have emotional or physical space, you can decide to try something different – maybe walking out of the room for a moment, taking a few slow breaths or telling someone, ‘I’ll get back to you on that’ – so that you can break your habit and diffuse your stress.
3. Breathe slow and deeply
One of the first things you might notice when you’re stressed is that you start to breathe more quickly.
Your breath might feel shorter and more shallow which in turn can make you feel more anxious. Learning to take slower, deeper breaths will relax you and is something you can easily practice while you’re watching TV or walking the dog.
A great breath exercise to try is the 9-5 breath (inspired by the Dolly Parton song!). Basically, you breathe in for 5 seconds then breathe out nice and slowly for 9 seconds.
The slow breath out calms your body by reducing your heart rate and blood pressure while the counting helps distract your busy mind from worrying thoughts.
Practice this a few times a day using something as a prompt. So, every time you go to the loo or boil the kettle, do a bit of slow breathing. It’ll soon become second nature.
4. Try a five senses visualisation
One way to soothe a busy mind is to give yourself a mental break or holiday. For a few minutes every day you can send your mind on a relaxing retreat without leaving your home. Afterwards, you’ll feel refreshed and ready to deal with whatever you’re facing.
At Maggie’s, we often share a lovely visualisation which uses all five senses to help you relax or get to sleep at night.
- First, imagine yourself to be somewhere safe and pleasant like a tropical beach, a lovely woodland, floating along in the clouds, or whatever you fancy
- Then put yourself there with all five senses
- So, notice what you might see around you, what you’d hear, what you might feel, something nice that you might be able to smell and something lovely that you might taste
It’s such a relaxing experience and it can give you back a bit of control over your stress and whatever’s causing it.
5. Focus on the present
When you find your thoughts spiralling out of control, it’s useful to focus on the moment and what’s happening right now rather than stressing about what has already happened or might happen in the future.
It can take a bit of practice but once you get used to spending a few moments focussing on the trees outside the window or the patterns on a rug on the floor, you’ll feel your mind calming down in a kind of everyday mindfulness.
So, if you're washing the dishes instead of fretting about something, just notice the sensations you’re experiencing - how the dishes look, how the water feels, the smell of the washing up liquid - and just be.
Every time your mind starts to wander away to something else, make it come back and really notice the experience of those dishes being washed.
It's a bit like a dance. When your mind keeps trying to pull you away going, ‘Oh, but you've got to worry about this thing’, you pause and think, ‘No, I'm just going to focus on the dishes for now.’
If you’re sitting waiting in a busy clinic or struggling to focus at work, just take a few moments out to focus on something. It grounds you. It gets you into the present and helps you control your thoughts rather than spiralling off in your head.
We're here for you
Our cancer support specialists, psychologists and benefits advisors are here for everyone with cancer, and all the people who love them.
- We run a free six-week ‘Managing Stress’ course for anyone affected by cancer. We also have gentle exercise classes (including tai chi and yoga). Just come in to one of our centres to find out more
- Watch Lorrie talk about our ‘Managing Stress’ course on YouTube
- Read more about dealing with the stress of cancer
- Try one of our relaxation and meditation videos on YouTube
- Join Lorrie on Facebook for live meditation and relaxation events