I want to see more people like me who have been through cancer, so we can gain knowledge of how other people coped and empathise with people who are the same age as ourselves.
– Kerry, diagnosed at 30, and again at 39
When you think about your 20s, 30s and 40s, what comes to mind? Things like progressing in your career, buying a house, starting a family or getting married?
Probably not dealing with a cancer diagnosis.
But, increasingly, this is the reality for many people.
Recent statistics show that more people under 50 are being diagnosed with cancer than ever before. And at Maggie’s, we see the effects of this every day in our 24 centres across the UK.
More and more young people are coming through our doors, having had their worlds turned upside down at a time when they least expected it.
We believe their stories should be heard.
Young people who visit our centres have shared how cancer has rippled through their lives affecting their children, their partners, their workplaces, and their futures.
They have told us about the challenges they faced, as well as what they want the world to know and their words of wisdom to other young people living with cancer.
Read their real stories below, or read the full interviews in our online booklet.
Diagnosed at 35
“The burden of cancer is heavy, and you’re having to carry this along with your biggest fears.
"But I have learnt you are never alone when you are dealing with cancer – there are always people you can talk to and relate to.
"My family are amazing, but I would not share this with them as I wanted to protect them and reassure them, even though I was frightened about what was to come and what my future looked like.
"Maggie’s is everything – a haven of support and kindness, a safe space.
"My advice: it’s okay to feel worried and upset, but don’t ever feel you have to do this alone.”
Diagnosed at 22
“I found it hardest not being able to do what everyone else my age was doing.
"I felt really alone in not being able to go out, go to events, birthday parties, because I was so unwell and unable to move. I felt I had aged 100 years. I learnt to slow down.
"My advice: life is not a race, and just because you have been diagnosed, it does not mean your life is over.”
Diagnosed at 47
“My diagnosis meant that positive, family things that might have happened in the future evaporated, virtually overnight. That was a blow that was hard to live with, but once I’d recognised it, life became simpler and easier.
“Therapy at Maggie’s helped me find ways to get through the sketchy bits. I’ve found that this starts with listening to what your mind and body are doing. I’ve learnt to say no. I’m always trying to be active and keep up with family life, but sometimes declining an offer is the only option.
"My advice: stop making cancer into a fight or a battle. Just living with cancer can be challenging enough. I’ve lost count of the times that I’ve woken up with no fight left. I’ve had to think I’m breathing, that’s enough, countless times.”
Diagnosed at 42
“The most challenging part was juggling life with a young family and managing the emotional rollercoaster of diagnosis and treatment.
“Everyone kept saying, but you’re one of the healthiest people I know. I quickly realised there were lots of misconceptions about what having cancer looked like and meant. So I set up an Instagram account to connect with others going through treatment at the same stage of life.
“Being faced with contemplating my mortality at a younger age continues to be a challenge. I remember being at my eldest’s daughter’s first nativity wondering how many school plays I might get the chance to see.
"I try to live life to the full, but cancer is like a shadow once you’ve had it. Sometimes in front of you and easy to see, other times behind you but still following you about, ready to pop up when you least expect it.”
Diagnosed at 34
"It’s easy to be absorbed by the diagnosis, but taking time to enjoy things, no matter how small, will help when times are difficult.
"When the times are hard, find an outlet that is a safe space for you. Make sure you have your own space to process your way.”
“My advice: make plans. Remember you are a person first and foremost, so don’t lose sight of what makes you happy."
Diagnosed at 38
“The hardest part for me was the side effects from treatment.
"This impacted my whole life: not knowing how unwell I would be, not being able to work, staying in bed while listening to my wife struggle with the children, having to explain to my children ‘why Daddy can’t play today’, feeling exhausted, frustrated due to the limitations it imposes, and not being able to find any routine.
"Having access to psychological support [at Maggie's] allowed me the space to collect my thoughts and the freedom from my own thoughts to focus on what’s important.”
Diagnosed at 19
“The hardest part [of being diagnosed with cancer] was life being put on hold when you are just gaining independence, and not being as physically able as I once was.
"Maggie’s is a comfortable place that made it easier, meeting young people with similar circumstances.”
Diagnosed at 28
“The most challenging part of cancer was feeling like my life plans had changed, and things were out of my control.
"I learnt to listen to my body and know that the experience doesn’t define you.
"My advice: there are other people in your position that are your age, and you can continue to do things. Life doesn’t stop with cancer.”
Diagnosed at 44
“I felt complete shock at being diagnosed, with extremely limited knowledge or understanding of cancer.
"It has been a rollercoaster of a journey, traumatic and has completely changed my life and the life of me and my husband. It is the first time in my life I have had the control taken away from me and not been able to do things I have wanted to.
"I have had times when I have been extremely upset and not been feeling me, not looking like me, not acting like me, and desperate to want to get back to normal but then learning I would not be the person I was before.
"I do not feel that I would be in the good place that I am now without the support of Maggie’s. They say ‘just come in’, and that is exactly how they make you feel: that you can just go in.”
Diagnosed at 42
“The hardest thing to comprehend was not watching my children grow up or ever becoming a wife. I’ve recently got married so I ticked one of my worries off the list.
"I found it incredibly difficult to hear the words ‘You’ve got this, Gem’, when ultimately, this has never been my fight: it’s been cancer vs medicine.
"Cancer is the rollercoaster ride nobody wants or should ever have to get on. When the highs occur, embrace them, and when the lows hit, reach out to whoever you need to at that difficult time.
"Maggie’s was my sanctuary, a breath of fresh air in a new world of uncertainty. You are not alone, remember that.”
Diagnosed at 38
“My feeling of fear was off the charts during the early stages of diagnosis. I was terrified that I was going to die young.
"Other challenges were the ‘pickling of my brain’ – I craved normality, yet there I was in appointments about having my breast removed, possible IVF, medication that would cause early menopause. I felt like I was on one of those awful rides in a theme park, desperate to get off.
"I distinctly remember telling my family and friends that, even though they were ‘with me’, I felt incredibly lonely in my head.
"The young people at Maggie’s and the support around me have brought me ‘back’ now. I’m changed for good, but I'm largely back to me – as much as possible.”
Diagnosed at 22
“I was in my second year of university, studying digital music, and everything was normal. I was going out most weekends. I was in a society and learning how to be a DJ. The main thing was, I was just having fun.
"We all joked: 'Imagine if it’s cancer. I'd better start writing my will!' None of us ever thought it could be cancer.
"My mum said the famous words: 'You are too young to get cancer'. And I know she regrets that to this day. But everyone thinks cancer happens when you are in your 60s or 70s.
"On the wards, I was the youngest person there by 40 or 50 years. I met a lovely nurse named Laura who said, 'Right, I know you’re scared, but what we’re going to do is treat you and then you’re going to go on and live your life.' Those words meant so much to me.
"Cancer felt temporary to me after that.”
Diagnosed at 34
“For me, the most difficult part of experiencing cancer at a young age is the impact it has had on my fertility. Cancer has taken away my choice and control over my ability to have children. Something that was supposed to be joyful has become very stressful.
"Nothing takes away the pain of the uncertainty about whether we will be able to have a family, but Maggie’s has helped and encouraged me to acknowledge those feelings while continuing to find joy in other parts of my life.
“Support for people with cancer has massively changed as generations go on. My mum was diagnosed with cervical cancer at a similar age to me, and I watched her have cancer and then go back to bringing up three children. The emotional and psychological impact of cancer was not really addressed – she just had to get back to life.
"I feel lucky to have had the support of Maggie’s – a safe space that has helped me to discuss and understand some really difficult emotions that I was feeling and know it’s okay.”
Sophie was diagnosed at 36 and died at 39
Karl’s shares his experience being the partner of someone with cancer and how this impacted him as a person and a parent.
“The endless appointments, and trying to maintain a life around that, while also raising two small children.
"Going to work and pretending you’re a normal person.
"Putting much of your life on hold to ‘do cancer’, but at the same time, trying to find moments of life and joy among it all.
"Putting all your faith in the medical professionals, never imagining that it won’t all work, and then having to deal with the fact that it will ultimately fail.
"Moving into the future as a single parent to two small children who barely had any time at all with the most important and incredible person I ever could have wished to have fallen in love with and to be loved by in return.”
Diagnosed at 40
“The most challenging part of having cancer was the impact on my mental health. When I was first diagnosed with cancer it felt surreal.
"As treatment went on, the pain increased. I started not being able to swallow, was experiencing rapid weight loss, trauma in my past started triggering my mental health. The more my body deteriorated, the more my mind went into overdrive. I reached a point where I could no longer function and took myself to A&E because I was ready to end it.
“While I was sat in A&E, my friend, who also had cancer, messaged me and said, ‘Take yourself to Maggie’s. There are people there who will understand what you are going through.’
"The next day, that is what I did. I walked into Maggie’s, sat down with Jen [cancer support specialist at Maggie's] and unloaded everything. From the first day I came to Maggie’s, I went back every week. Maggie’s is a lifesaver.
“Art therapy was the best thing I have ever done. We sat there and spoke for the full hour. I was concentrating on what I was drawing and didn’t notice I was opening up about everything. I was able to break down and understand where the anger and pain was coming from.”
Diagnosed at 30, then again at 39
“After treatment was over, all I would hear was, ‘You should be so grateful you’re still here’. But I became more and more aware that it was getting harder, instead of better.
"It went on for months, and my mental health got worse and worse. I felt ungrateful; yes, I was still alive, but in so much pain with so much anxiety, and no-one could understand how I felt.
"I was totally lost. It got to the point where I tried to take my own life. If I say I was at rockbottom, that doesn’t even come close.
"I struggled with my age; I felt too young for the older people with cancer, but too old to be a young person with cancer, and I didn’t know how to deal with this happening at my stage of life. I’m not even hopefully halfway through my life, but I was totally out of control and it made me spiral.”
Diagnosed at 27
“Your experience as a young person is automatically different: your prognosis, the type of life you can lead, your energy levels.
"Lots of the materials and treatments are geared towards people in their 40’s and above. It’s hard to work out where you fit.
"After I met two other women of a similar age and with similar diagnoses, my experience significantly improved. I’ve learnt not to try and manage the emotions and reactions of other people.
"Sometimes, in the case of being a cancer patient, it’s okay to be a little selfish and prioritise your own wellbeing and recovery.”
Diagnosed at 21
“It was difficult not to compare myself to my peers when it felt like everyone else’s lives were moving forward while mine was falling apart.
"I couldn’t relate to anyone including friends, peers and even family. I felt so misunderstood and it felt exhausting trying to get people to understand.
"It was hard to look into the future and make plans and be positive when I was dealing with so much uncertainty.”
Diagnosed at 35
“When I was really struggling with my energy levels following the surgery and during chemo, I adopted an idea that my support nurse suggested.
"Rather than having a ‘To do’ list and getting down about all the things I didn’t manage to achieve, I had a ‘Ta-da!’ list, where I would list everything I’d managed to do at the end of the day, then celebrate those things.
"Emotionally, I don’t know where I would be had I not found a like-minded group of amazing people through the young adults’ support group at Maggie’s. Everyone there just ‘gets it’ and can relate to what you’re going through.”
Diagnosed at 29
“The most challenging part of having cancer was the lack of control.
"I have always been a very independent person, moving out of the family home very young, buying my first flat at 25 and living alone for the most part.
"When I was diagnosed and placed on to the conveyor belt of NHS treatment, I felt I lost a lot of my independence. I like to know specifics – dates, times, etc – but these are never guaranteed.
"Many people expected me to be all good again as soon as chemotherapy finished, but so much of the recovery and healing still remained.
"This was when I needed someone the most. Aftercare should be prioritised as well as the treatment itself.”
Diagnosed at 37
“The minute you hear the word 'cancer', you put a timeline on your expected lifespan. So now, I’m in my 30’s and instead of my mortality being miles away, it’s all just got a lot closer.
"How do you react? Do you change your career if you can keep working? And what about your family? Will they be ok? How do you tell your family and friends? Do I tell my young daughter? Am I going to ruin my loved ones’ lives?
"All of that weighs on you. I’ve been very intentional in trying to say yes to things that make memories. I want my family’s memories of me being ones of me smiling and being there in the moment.”
Diagnosed at 31
“The hardest part is having the rug pulled out from under your feet, just when you are starting to get your life together and a future mapped out.
"During my early 30s I would have liked to have been planning my career, a family, what my future house is going to look like...However, that seems to have all been taken away from me.
"My advice: cry when you need to cry and laugh when you need to laugh. I am someone who finds that humour helps, so if that is the same for you then have fun during the dark times.
"It’s tough. But take all the help you can from people that know what they are doing.
"Have your bad days, have your good days, ride the rollercoaster, comfort each other when you are in the depths of despair, and celebrate with each other when you are able to.”
Diagnosed at 42
“Because I’m young, I hear people saying I’m too young to have cancer, and they assume because I’m young that I’ll bounce back.
"I had made the assumption of decades of life ahead of me highlighted as potentially wrong.
"The most challenging thing, for me, regardless of my age, is experiencing chemo and radiotherapy, seeing the effects on my body, and willingly going to the next session when I really don’t want to.”
Diagnosed at 20
“I really tried to not let cancer define me, but I failed to recognise that, naturally, with something as big as cancer, your views and morals change.
"Your direction has to change in life to help yourself heal and grow.
"I personally found this very hard, as a lot of my friends were thinking of travelling, and I was unable to have this option with all my appointments for the upcoming few years.”
Diagnosed at 34
“My baby was turning one when I was diagnosed with cancer. When you have kids, it adds that extra layer of fear. We had to make sure he was still happy and having fun while we were sorting out cancer.
"Receiving a cancer diagnosis is completely life changing, but at the same time I was 34 years old, had finished treatment and knew I had to go back to work at some point. I couldn’t retire at 34. There was no reason for me to not be in work anymore.
"Meeting other people who are in the same boat is so important. Maggie’s was the place where I finally met them.”
We're here for every kind of cancer, and every kind of story.
We offer free expert psychological and practical support tailored to you, whatever your age and situation.
There are support groups on offer, as well as workshops, courses and one-to-one support with a cancer support specialist, benefits advisor or psychologist.
You don't need a referral or an appointment.
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