Friday 10 May 2024
Maggie's, Lanarkshire
We were speaking to a speech and language therapist about what to do next. Wilson was recovering in hospital after his throat surgery. They said if you go to Maggie’s, they’ll help. There was nothing, we'd felt lost - until then.
At the time I was feeling really down. I’d first had tonsil cancer twelve years ago, but started to have problems again in 2020. My treatment had been chemotherapy and radiotherapy. But the radiotherapy damaged the back of my throat.
Wilson wasn’t able to swallow food the same way – it would go down into his lungs, and he’d get regular chest infections. It was hard to see it happening to him so often.
Early 2021, we went to see Dr Kang, who said that I needed to have a laryngectomy, which would remove my voicebox.
Wilson and I have been married 46 years this June. The laryngectomy saved Wilson’s life, but changed how we lived in so many ways.
When Wilson first went through cancer twelve years ago, it was very hard to see. But this was completely different, this time there were different infections, he was ill for nearly five months before coming to hospital, and he had lost loads of weight – it was very, very hard to watch it happen to him.
After the surgery, he wasn’t able to do lots of things he and I both loved – like socialising, or eating nice food. It was a huge change. Watching Wilson go through what he had made me feel very down. Very, very low.
I lost confidence. I’d always liked company. I used to enjoy eating lovely food, and now I can’t, it’s a huge change.
As soon as you walk into Maggie’s, it just has a good feeling about it.
When I first went to Maggie’s, I found it nice, and I left feeling more uplifted. We started attending the Relaxation Group, and we also joined the Head and Neck Support Group.
Speaking to others there it did feel a bit more positive. The staff were really good at putting you at ease, making you feel comfortable.
Getting that wee bit extra support helped me feel less alone - it made a big difference. Maggie’s has helped me to understand what it is to be a carer, and given me the support to be there for Wilson.
In the Head and Neck Group, we met other people with throat cancers and head cancers. It was very uplifting to hear what others are going through, and to know you’re not alone.
Most of us have been going there for some time now, and we’ve all become quite good friends.
You’re sharing very personal details with each other, and in doing it, you know you’re not alone, some people have even had it worse.
I’ve had also had skin cancer, melanoma, twice. The second one was diagnosed just before lockdown, and I had treatment during the first lockdown. The treatment was immunotherapy, and not severe, and I don’t talk about it a lot when I go to Maggie’s – I feel we’re there for Wilson’s sake. I do talk to Lorrie, the psychologist as well.
To get the support from Maggie’s just made all the difference for me. I didn’t feel alone or as alone, I was able to share my problems with quite a few of the nursing staff there, or just go up any time you wanted.
There is no need to make an appointment, and there’s always someone to sit and talk to – and it’s just so relaxing – just to know that it is there makes all the difference.
To anyone thinking of visiting Maggie’s, I’d say go and just enjoy the atmosphere and the surroundings, they’re brilliant. You can sit and watch the world go by.
What happened to Wilson has changed our life, and nobody else can understand how different it is.
But Maggie’s is… just a wonderful place, I really don’t know what else I can say. It’s just a very warm and comforting place and supportive place. It doesn’t matter what you’ve gone thorough, Maggie’s is there.
At Maggie’s, we feel supported, and not alone.
Our cancer support specialists, psychologists and benefits advisors are here for everyone with cancer, and all the people who love them.
Come and see us at your nearest Maggie’s, call us on 0300 123 180 or email us at enquiries@maggies.org
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