Steve on finding connection and positivity

I told my GP, who suggested we do a stool sample. The sample came back a bit abnormal, so she referred me for a CT scan.  

I was told it’d be a few days for my results to come. But I hadn't been home for half an hour that day when I got a call. The consultant had seen a large mass in my bowel and I needed to go back the next day.  

That news sent me to a dark place. You hear the words 'large mass' and you immediately think it can only be one thing.  

I went back for a colonoscopy and it was confirmed, there and then, it was cancer.

Coming to Maggie's

As well as my amazing wife, I was surrounded by family for the next few days. But when they left, I absolutely crashed. I felt totally alone, totally lost and all I could think was "cancer, cancer, cancer". I was convinced it was a death sentence.  

My daughter had told me that week that she was expecting a baby, and I replied that I hoped I’d be there to see the birth. That’s how dark my mind was.  

My sister had told me about Maggie’s, so I looked on their website. One of the first things I read was Mark’s story. He was a centre visitor in West London who also had bowel cancer. I read his inspirational story, saw his smile, and it helped me to feel that I could get through it like he did.  

I arranged to come in and see Sinead, the centre head. When I went in, she was by the front door waiting for me. I promptly broke down.  

We spoke for about two hours. Sinead got me from my lowest point, to understanding that I was in a relatively good position.

The cancer was contained; it hadn’t spread and, from this, I was able to start processing what was going to happen, rather than wondering whether or not I would be here at Christmas. It all turned around after coming to Maggie's.

Surgery and treatment

The surgeons removed 20 centimetres of bowel, along with 45 lymph nodes. There was a couple of rogue cells in one lymph node, which was a little bit of a downer. The surgeon advised having three months of chemotherapy, as a mopping-up process. 

I spent five days in hospital after my surgery. My job as a personal trainer stood me in good stead for recovering from surgery, and after a couple of weeks, I started to feel much stronger.  

It was a whirlwind of an experience, being diagnosed and then two weeks later having surgery and two weeks later being well on the way to recovery. 

I kept coming to Maggie's alongside my recovery. I felt that I have a connection here because of all Maggie’s has done for me so, as soon as I was well enough, I wanted to come here. I wanted to meet the people that had helped me and say “I'm done. I'm out on the road to recovery."   

Finding friendship in the men's group

In my downtime, I come to Maggie's for a chat and a coffee. You sense the warmth as soon as you come in and I've met so many lovely people. 

I started coming to the men’s group and I didn’t know anybody at first, but I listened to the other guys’ stories. At the end of it, I felt total inspiration. Some of the things people had gone through were horrendous, but what I drew from was the positivity. 

Mark, whose story I had read, was also at the men’s group. Afterwards, we chatted about music and our similar cancer type and we got on fantastically well.  

We suggested that we met up for a coffee, so I went down to his manor and we ended up chatting for a ridiculous amount of time, laughing and joking along with the serious side of our diagnoses. 3 hours later we asked each other ‘where did that time go?’  

Mark is a real inspiration to me, in how he's dealt with things. He is hilarious and we have such an empathy and connection between us. Out of something so bad I’ve now got a really valuable friendship. 

How my outlook has changed

I've got a completely different perspective on life. I guess like a lot of people, I used to walk around with blinkers on. These have come off now and I walk around with my head up, taking in things around me and appreciating them more.  

At the men’s group, I absorb so much positive energy. I can see that I have a light at the end of the tunnel. It helps me immensely. I know now that I can sit here now with a big smile on my face and I can say the cancer is gone, I've made so many friends and I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. 

A good friend of mine sadly passed away from pancreatic cancer. He used to organise a golf day from the pub we all used to go to. We decided to continue to do the golf day in memory of him. I’ve taken this on, and turned it into a fundraiser for Maggie’s.  

I set up a JustGiving page and my initial target was £1000, but people were so generous we had gone past that before the golf day even took place. Since the golf day, the amount ended up over £4000. 

Nothing would be enough to give back what this place has done for me; there's no price I can put on what's been given to me by this place. But I’ll do what I can.  

Words to others

I would tell anyone affected by cancer not to hesitate to go to Maggie’s. They will guide you and help you fully understand what you're going to go through from start to finish. 

There's an issue with men facing things 'like a man should.' Some men shy away from places like Maggie’s and think that they can deal with this on their own. But it’s bravado, it’s nonsense.

I don’t mind admitting that I came here because I was lost. But when I left, I was in a good place. 

Get the help that you need and you deserve to get, don't face it alone.

We’re here with you

Our cancer support specialists, psychologists and benefits advisors are here for everyone with cancer, and all the people who love them.

Come and see us at your nearest Maggie’s, call us on 0300 123 180 or email us at enquiries@maggies.org