It wasn’t as scary or intense as I thought it would be – Tony on prostate cancer treatment

You see the statistics about how many men will get prostate cancer, but I didn’t think that would be me. 

I’d had high blood pressure for a very long time, probably because I was a manager working in the construction industry. 

Every two years I’d have a check-up, what I call my MOT. Part of the check-up is getting your bloods taken. 

So I went to my routine check and this time my blood results came back with a PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) result of 28. 

I went to my Doctor and asked what a PSA was and he said it’s an indication that you may have prostate cancer. He asked me if I had any family history, but there wasn’t that I was aware of. 

My mum had died of lung cancer, my dad lived until he was 83. 

I had no symptoms at all. I wasn’t going to the toilet more often or anything like that. If it wasn’t for my blood pressure I wouldn’t have had my bloods taken. 

I was sent for the biopsy and scans and in March 2022 I was given the prostate cancer diagnosis. 

I knew nothing about prostate cancer before this. Didn’t have a clue. 

Treatment options

I was then faced with two treatment options: prostate removal or hormone treatment with radiotherapy. 

I said to the doctor, ‘Listen, I’m a hairy builder, how am I meant to know which prostate cancer treatment to pick?’ 

So he explained the time scales and the different side effects, and I decided to go with the surgery. 

Unfortunately, the surgery wasn't fully successful, which then meant I had to undergo seven weeks of radiotherapy. I was apprehensive at first, but it was 10 minutes in and out, so it was a doddle. It wasn’t as scary or intense as I thought it would be.

Impact on identity

They tell you about the physical side effects of the cancer treatment, but they don’t tell you about the mental impact that these side effects can have. 

Meeting with a physio and attending the men’s support group helped me to navigate these challenges. 

When I’m talking to the guys at Maggie’s, nearly all of the other men with prostate cancer share the same worries about incontinence and erectile dysfunction.

It’s obviously an important function to a male, and the loss of this function has a major impact in relation to your manhood.

Support at Maggie's

For me, Maggie’s has been a place of friendship and learning. 

The men’s group has individuals from all walks of life, united by their experiences with cancer treatment. 

I found solace in sharing his journey and offering support to others. It makes me feel like I’m giving back when I’m sharing my experience with other guys who are just starting treatment. 

I’m proud and happy to be able to play a part in making it less difficult.

Friends and family support

Not everybody gets it the way the guys at Maggie’s get it. 

When people see me in the street and they say ‘Oh, you’re looking good’, sometimes I can find it a bit patronising. They’re expecting you to be in a wheelchair and looking really sick. 

I’ve got friends who have been amazing. 

After every round of radiotherapy I had one pal in particular who would always call me, ask how it went, if I needed anything, does he need me to pop to the shops to get me food. And my family have been great too. 

I couldn’t tell my daughter Rachel at first, I didn’t want to upset her, and I had to get myself dealing with it first. 

But she’s been brilliant and so supportive. She came with me to my consultations, and she’s now supporting Maggie’s in any way she can. She knows what Maggie’s has done for me, and she wants to give back. 

Cancer returning and impact on mental health

I was told I won’t die of prostate cancer, but I will die with it. 

So it’s always in the back of my mind, lurking about. 

That’s something I talk about with the guys at Maggie’s too.

Getting tested

Tony’s journey with prostate cancer is a testament to resilience, support, and the importance of early detection. 

He adds: "All my friends around my age have gone to get tested for prostate cancer now too."

His story underscores the significance of mental and emotional support, as well as the role of community in navigating the challenges of cancer treatment. 

Tony’s advocacy for regular testing serves as a reminder that early detection can make all the difference.

We're here to support you

Our cancer support specialists, psychologists and benefits advisors are here for everyone with cancer, and all the people who love them. 

Come and see us at your nearest Maggie’s, call us on 0300 123 180 or email us at enquiries@maggies.org