Men embarrassed by cancer diagnosis

Of the 500 men with cancer who were surveyed, it was found that:

• 17% initially felt embarrassed about their diagnosis
• 12% felt guilty after their diagnosis
• 41% felt anxious
• 23% felt loneliness

Yet nearly 1 in 5 of the men asked said they do not plan to seek additional support beyond what is provided by their medical teams to help with financial, psychological and emotional issues.

42% said they had not asked for support, and when those men were asked for the main reasons for this:

• 14% said they were too embarrassed
• 21% said they didn’t want to talk about their feelings
• 15% said they didn’t think the support was for men

Over 1 in 4 (26%) of those who hadn’t sought support but who had finished their cancer treatment said they wish they had asked for additional support after their diagnosis.

The OnePoll survey was completed by 500 men living with cancer. It delved into the fears, worries and insecurities that men face when given a cancer diagnosis.

We conducted the research as a way of shining a light on the benefits of men seeking support when living with cancer.

I felt like I had let my family down. There’s a need for men to be seen to be brave and independent.

Nick del Rio, 67, works as a business advisor. He was diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer in November 2022.

When he was first diagnosed, he felt guilty, and says he understands the reluctance of some men to get support.

“Immediately after my diagnosis, my overwhelming emotion was guilt. I felt like I had let my family down.

“I couldn’t stop saying sorry to my wife, and wanted to say sorry to everyone. I felt like I was leaving her to deal with everything.

“For me it was the internal barriers from myself to getting support. The idea of being open and sharing your feelings felt unusual and daunting to me. I wasn't openly against the idea - just reluctant to take the first step.”

Overcoming the stigma

Men account for over half (51%) of new cancer diagnoses across the nation each year (CRUK). 

But for a number of years, we've observed that men only make up a third of visitors looking for support at Maggie's.

Maggie’s Chief Executive Dame Laura Lee said: “Cancer can come with a loss of identity and treatment can feel very exposing. 

"We have to help men get over the stigma of thinking that there is embarrassment or shame attached to asking for support.

“Sharing how you feel in a group session, with other men, can help make cancer feel more manageable.

"At Maggie’s, we would love to see the same number of men coming for support in our centres as we do women.”

You learn that resilience and strength actually is not some ‘macho’ idea of being strong.

Nick found support at a Living with Cancer group at Maggie's.

“It has been inspiring coming to the group. The people I have met in that group I admire intensely.

“You learn that resilience and strength actually is not some ‘macho’ idea of being strong. Strength is facing difficult things and talking about them honestly to other people.

“As a man, I think it was really important that Maggie's kept proactively coming to me about support. 

"I knew I needed something, but wasn’t actively going to find it. When Maggie’s approached me offering support, I was receptive, but needed them to make the first move.

“I’m not surprised fewer men access support than women. I think sometimes a reticence for men might come from a feeling that we should be able to sort things out without needing to talk about them.

“I know there is an element of that within me - even now, and even though I've always known, deep down, that it makes complete sense to talk about worries and pressures.

“Coming to the Living with Cancer group at Maggie's has absolutely shown that it is possible to combine a feeling of resilience and strength with sharing, communicating and being open to accepting help.”

How we can help

Whatever kind of cancer, whatever stage you're at, Maggie's is here with you.

Our expert staff are here to listen to your concerns and find the help you need wherever you are – over the phone and online.

There are men’s support groups on offer, as well as specific cancer type groups, exercise, nutrition and one to one support with a psychologist.

If you or anyone you know has cancer, they can just come into any of the centres, there is no need for a referral or appointment.

• Find your nearest Maggie's centre 
• Call us on 0300 123 180 
• Email us at enquiries@maggies.org 
• Our phone lines and centres are open  Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm

*This online survey of 500 men who have cancer was commissioned by Maggie’s and conducted by market research company OnePoll, in accordance with the Market Research Society's code of conduct.